"The Lake House" ~ Why we love hopeless romantic movies

I recently finished watching "The Lake House" starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. A lovely story about 2 people who find themselves writing letters to each other.  There is just one slight complication. She is living in 2006 and he is living in 2004.  The letters are exchanged through a mailbox at a lake house that both have lived in.  Despite the distance of time they fall in love and are able to be there for each other  through disappointments and heartaches.

It seems to me that we as a general public tend to be most in love with stories where the more impossible, the more incredible, the more unbelievable the love story, the more we LIKE it! Why? Love is hard enough! Those lucky enough to find it and actually have it reciprocated are blessed beyond words! So why do we like it even more when we add more complications to an already complicated situation?  Things like time, age, race, culture, death, disease, language, etc? Because there is something about the nature of love. It knows no boundaries, it is courageous in the face of fear and will fight, even beyond death, to save or protect those in it's care. "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu

In the film "The Lake House", the two people decide to meet in the future, and the guy doesn't show up.  He begs the girl to give him another chance, something must have happened to keep him from meeting her.  No, she says later that she let herself get caught up in this lovely dream, but it wasn't meant to be.  Later, when talking with his brother about this girl, his brother says he needs a real woman, and his reply is that she was more real to him.  

Because God is love, loving someone allows us to partake of a small piece of divinity.  "To love another person is to see the face of God." ~ the musical, "Les Miserables". By it's very nature, love is stubborn and fiercely loyal. It does not give up easily, even when the other heart is not so easily persuaded.  I suppose, of course, that having never experienced recipricol love (romantically speaking) it is easier for me to talk about unrequited, one sided love.  I can't even truly imagine what recipricol love feels like!  However, I know the beauty and strength that are part of my loving someone, so if that was ever returned, well, I  can imagine that nothing would stand in the way if it was truly God's will.  That is the tricky part, isn't it? You may love someone, and they may love you, but if it is not God's will, there is not much to be done.  But as my dad is fond of saying, the Lord helps those who help themselves!  If two people are not willing to work through whatever barriers there might be between them, etc. then, like all relationships, it will not work out.  

"Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart." ~ Washington Irving

Being patient and waiting is not something that is easy for us.  And sometimes, even for us "hopeful" romantics, the hope itself is what crushes us in the end.  One the one hand, how can we possibly live without hope?  But similarly, when your heart leaps every time you see that person or you hear there voice,  or (with facebook) see that little green dot next to their name ;-) and they completely ignore you, all of your hope comes down and crushes you again, suffocating, and you tell yourself this is it!  It is over, I am going to move on! And then the whole process starts again! You love it and you hate it all at the same time!  Beacuse, even when the people we love hurt us, and even though that pain can be terrible and great, the happiness that they bring to our lives FAR outweighs the sadness.  It is all part of the same thing, you cannot have happiness without sadness, light without dark, beauty without pain.  It is the dark, negative, sad part of life that makes the happy, bright, and beautiful part worth living!!

Here is what Joshua Harris has to say about falling in love: "There's nothing else quite like it, and if you've experienced it, you know what I mean. Being in love is a patchwork of a thousand indescribable moments. Nervous energy runs through your body when you think about that special person, which is every waking minute. You lose interest in the dull chores of eating, sleeping, and thinking rationally. You discover that every love song on the radio was written for you. It seems like someone has removed blinders from your eyes, and you can see the world, full of wonder, mystery and happiness."  Josh always knows exactly how to say it!!! I love his books!  

"Castle" is a good example of this.  I wrote a note about all of this back when the season premiered, writing about the tragedy that people cannot be open and honest with each other and tell each other when they love each other. But at the end of the pilot, when Castle's daughter is upset that he going to continue working with Kate, even though things still haven't worked out between them, she asks him a very important question: "Does she make you happy?" and his response? "Yes". "And is that enough?"  "For now."  Sometimes it is as simple as that.  Just being with or around or talking to the one you love, even when you don't know if they will ever love you, and just being happy to be with them, because they have the ability to make your dark days bright, your sad days happy, and open your eyes to the beauty all around you. Even when you feel the despair and hopelessness of the situation, and you think that you cannot possibly go on, and that it is impossible to take one more breath, the happiness that person brings to your life, is MORE important than all of the despair! "If love were a choice, who would choose such exquisite pain." ~ Tuptim, from the film "Anna and the King"

"The one claim I shall make for my own sex, is that we love longest, when all hope is gone." ~ Anne Eliot, Jane Austen's "Persuasion".

What a true mystery love is! "In love you find the oddest combinations: Materialistic people find themselves in lovee with idealists. Clingers fall in love with players; . . .homebodies capture and try to smother butterflies.  If it weren't so serious we could laugh at it." ~ George Davis

Now, let's discuss some of the obstacles that seem to be our favorites in films and books when it comes to love:

1.) Distance.

More than anything else, the hardest thing is for people who love each other to be apart. "Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the neccessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation!" ~ Jose Marti Y Perez.  Sometimes, this is when we realize just how deeply we love someone, for when we find ourselves thinking of them when they are gone, and wishing that they were here, that is one of the first signs that you are in big trouble!! ;-)

In "The Lake House" there is a wonderful song by Paul McCartney: "This Never Happened Before", and it talks about lovers not going it alone, "it's not so good when you're on your own", etc.  Great song!! In the world of cyberspace, keeping in touch with those one loves is pretty easy, you can even see and talk to each other now!  This, of course, never makes up for being together in the same room, but let's remember that for centuries, lovers were parted, due to the natural events of life.  Travel took months, not days or hours as it does now.  You had to write  letters, with a pen and ink!! and wait weeks, maybe even months before receiving a reply! Now, in our modern age, we are all in such a hurry!  "Can miles truly separate you from friends . . . If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?" ~ Richard Bach   I know that for me, that is very true.  When I love someone they are always with me, no matter the distance, I can see them everywhere and feel their presence, this is part of the beauty of it all!  As the saying goes, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." It is not easy, and I imagine it is the most difficult thing in the world to be apart from the one you truly love, but so long as your heart continues to beat to the rhythm of theirs, you are never truly separated.  My parents met in Germany while they were in high school, someday I will tell you all that story, but when they returned to the States they were living on opposite sides of the country!  When it is right, it will work out.  Trust God!!

2.) Culture (language, etc)

Finally, it is becoming less taboo to be in a "inter-racial" relationship.  For so long, especially in America for some stupid reason, the very thought of marrying someone who was not of the same "race" was considered . . . well, I won't go into that.  What is interesting, to me, is that when it comes to caucasians, we must be fighting for our own survival when it comes to inter racial marriages, cause we all know how weak our genes are!!! you put a caucasian with any other race and the kids are always going to look nothing like the caucasian parent!  They are WAY cuter!!! hahahaha!  True!!! Honestly, I don't get the problem people have with it, if two people are in love.  

Now, I will however, address my own feelings on the subject: I can completely relate to people who have an issue with marrying someone who is not from their own country and, therefore does not share the same native language and the same cultural identity.  I totally get that!  Communication is key in any relationship!  If two people fall in love and speak different languages it IS their responsiblity (I believe) to each learn the other's native tongue. What an incredible opportunity to learn so much more about each other, and your kids will be bi-lingual!  That is awesome!! I don't feel that people get hung up on language so much as culture.  It has to do with our own personal identities, etc.  For example, I willl never be able to fully understand what the people in Albania have been through.  Their cultural identity is scarred in such a way, that I, as an American will never be able to completely get it.  And vice versa.  Someone who is not American cannot understand what 9/11 did to the American physche.  

But, in my experience, when you fall in love with someone from another culture, the fact that they ARE from a different culture, is usually a HUGE part of WHY you love them!!! And of course, we all know we love complications in relationships! What better way to complicate it, then to have been born in different countries, speak different languages, eat different foods, have different customs, etc. But that is what is so miraculous and wonderful about it! You learn their language, their customs, their cultural heritage and take it in as part of your own because you love the person, you love who they are, and what made them that way, what shaped them!  Yeah, there are going to be miscommunications, there are going to be times when you might just not get it! But that happens in EVERY relationship!  If you love someone you will work through it!

3.) Age

I don't have so much to say about this one, though it is strongly linked to culture and language differences.  It is all relative.  It depends on so many things.  I'm not one to be hung up on age, though, when I think about it, probably 80% of the guys I have liked have been younger than I. . . .hmmm . . . interesting.

4.) Unrequited Love

This is of course, a part of every person's life.  We all have our stories about "the one that got away".  So many people have experienced that most dreaded of moments when you have confessed how you feel and they give you the kiss of death! "I just want to be friends, or I just thought of you as a friend or a sister or a brother, etc."  Or, perhaps, as in the case of Snape in the Harry Potter books, you never tell them your feelings and you go through your whole life loving someone and watching as they fall in love with someone else, etc.  The mark of a true hopeless romantic is one who only loves once. A hopeful romantic will know that the possibility of another love is always therer. The hardest part of this is when you fall for someone you are already friends with (all great loves begin this way) and you know that when you tell them how you feel, that it will change the relationship.  You are risking losing the friendship, cause some people cannot be friends when they know the other person wants more.  That is really sad.  I would think that despite whether or not I felt the same way about someone, that I could remain friends with them, and even cherish their friendship more because of their bravery to offer me their heart.  I know this is what holds me back, but if the person is truly your friend and loves you in that way, I would think they would only love you more and feel ever so grateful!! Cause let's admit it: Anyone telling you they love you are want to spend more time with you, etc is a pretty, damn fantastic, incredible, wonderful, amazing thing!!!!! How could you not love the person just a little in return for giving you something so precious?  Speaking for myself, I wouldn't know.  I tend to repel the guys I like, and only in one case did I actually manage to remain friends with a guy, who eventually ended up in a monastery! :-) So, I wait for the day when someone will tell me that they think I might, just might be the one. 

5.) Illness and Death

Here is a hard one.  If you have ever seen a movie like "A Walk to Remember" (or read the book) then you know that it seems like the phrase "life sucks, then you die" is more true than you could possibly EVER want it to be!! If you love someone and then find out that they are going to die, it is the most heart breaking and terrible thing and the most wonderful and incredible thing at the same time!! As the popular saying from "The Princess Bride" goes: "Death cannot stop true love.  All it can do is delay it for a while." :-) You feel bitter and angry with the whole world when something like this happens.  What have done that God should smite you??!! "Why love, if losing hurts so much?" is a question C.S. Lewis asked himself when his wife was dying of cancer.  Now THAT is a fantastic love story!!!!!!!!!!!!  I don't have time to go into it right now, but she was a twice divorced, jewish american (for a time an ardent communist) who wrote to Lewis and they fell in love.  She wrote to a friend of hers, "Now I know the poets and the movies are right. It exists." Theirs is one of the most classic examples of a love story that seems hopeless and yet, it worked out, and it was real too!!!  A real, true love affair! So beautiful.  In the film "Shadowland" which you MUST see if at all possible, she tells him that their happiness is not going to last, and he asks that they not talk about it, and spoil the time they have together. She says "It doesn't spoil it. It makes it real. The pain then is part of the happiness now. That's the deal." So, in the knowledge that they will soon lose each other, their happiness, in a way, is made complete. 

So, in conclusion (finally!! you are thinking! ;-) I suppose that what I want to say is that love never ceases to amaze me.  Whether it be in novels, on stage, on the silver screen or in real life, love is amazing!

"Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfil them, fr it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves." ~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Because we are so weak, in all of our imperfections, love is what makes us stronger! It binds us to each other and allows us to draw upon each other's strengths.  Because love is what makes us better than who we are, it allows us to rise above the petty selfishness of our everyday concerns, it pushes us out into the world others, allowing pain, sorrow and suffering into our lives, but with the benefit of absolute joy, happiness, and contentment.  Because the very act of loving someone is what makes each and every one of us a better someone!

"I don't know, but i believe that some things are meant to be and that you make a better me, every day I love you. . . I know that I am truly blessed, every day I love you." ~ Boyzone song, "Every Day I Love You"

Because it is stronger than we are, that it turns us into better human beings, this is why we love "hopeless" romantic movies. 

I just finished watching the season premiere of "Castle". . .

. . . and I don't think a single episode of a t.v. show has ever affected me so deeply. It broke my heart. :'(

Why, when people love each other, even in fiction, can they not tell each other? And even when they do, why lie about knowing it later??!!

I love these two characters and I know it sounds silly to be so invested in fictional television characters, but, it just seems to go against human nature not to tell someone when you love them. I know the pain of rejection. I know it firsthand.  I know because in the past I have nearly always put my heart on the line, offering it, and always having it handed or at times even thrown back at me. So, is it always better to tell the truth?

It all comes down to this: are you willing to put yourself on the line?  Offer yourself to another human being? allow them the opportunity of coming so deeply into who you both truly are, that you will both be utterly transformed, and never be the same again?  It is an awesome and terrifying prospect.  What will it reveal about you? about the other person?  What wonders await you? And what horrors too?  Is this the person that you believe will continue to love you, because of and in spite of who you are? Can you do the same for them?  Even when you have been through the fire and the pain, the ecstasy and the beauty? In the end, the discovery of the truth in ourselves and those we love, the discovery of Christ in each and every one of us, ultimately approaching the divine in all of us, and unleashing what we were truly meant to be . . . .  is that not something worth giving everything for?  Your heart, your soul, your every breath and moment of your life, waking and sleeping?

I HATE this gray area of life! Why does it have to be SO GRAY?! I know I prefer things to be black and white, and I know that is just not possible.  What is it that makes it all so complicated? The answer? People.  With their oddities and complexities, people are astounding and perplexing. Frustrating and wonderful! Fascinating and infuriating! Annoying and oddly endearing!  All at the same time!  No wonder we get into so muchtrouble!! ;-) Sometimes I wonder why God bothers with us at all . . .  but I thank Him every day, that He does!

But still, it is the unknown which holds us back. I still remember the rush and thrill of my first crush. :-) I can remember the exact moment I fell for the guy!  He was 2 years older (I was almost 12!) and I wrote him a love letter, left it at church (his family had just been chrismated at our church, and we went to the same private school) and . . .  are you ready for this?  I spelled his name wrong!! I was SO NAIVE!! Of  course, now, in hindsight, I can just smile and laugh it off, but when he broke my 12 year old heart, it was crushing! Did I learn from that first experience?  I suppose so, but the thing it taught me was that love does not conquer everything. . . . at least not unless it is reciprocated.  Not knowing if someone you love loves you in the same way, is the most frightening thing, especially  if the two of you are good friends.  How could you ever go back to that friendship if the other person doesn't feel the same?! You can't.  And so, you have to be willing to risk that, in order to tell the truth.  Now, some people won't or don't, and stay silent.  They (hopefully) put their trust in God, that if He opened their heart to the possibility of this relationship, that He will do the same for the other person.  Of course, as my dad likes to say, "The Lord helps those who help themselves".  So, it is still a gray area that is oh so very difficult to walk through!

What power we allow people to have over us! They bring us unutterable joy! And seemingly unending sadness!  They irritate and annoy, they surprise and startle, they amuse and endear themselves to us every day.  They bring SO MUCH into our lives!! WHY can't we tell them as much?!

Why do we have to continue feeling so insecure, that we can't share how we feel, myself most definitely included?!

This is what lingers in my mind as I go to sleep tonight. . . . .

Why we love Love Songs

I don't often talk about my "romantic sensibilities", for various reasons.  I used to be a heart and thoughts on my sleeve kinda girl. I still am to a degree, but I have grown more guarded in the past 7 years or so, so I generally keep these thoughts to myself, but I've been listening to so much great music lately, most of it in a romantic vein, so I thought I would share my thoughts. :-)

Once, I was asking a friend for advice. I tend to go betweeen the two extremes: either I am in the "depths of despair" (as Anne Shirley so aptly put it) or in the "halls of highest human happiness" (as Peter Marshall put it  in one of his sermons on marriage).  Romantic feelings tend to be like a roller coaster: sometimes you are just climbing up the hill to where you are so happy and excited!!!  (I have to tell you, that there is very little to compare with that high.  It can carry you SO FAR!!! :-D) And then, you start to go down, down, down . . . and as you go, you gain more momentum cause those negative thoughts have that kinda power, when you choose to give it to them.

So, I was confiding in a friend (you know who you are! ;-) you're the best btw!) and I was feeling VERY low (you know, it was the story we've all heard and experienced before, when you love/like someone  but you have NO idea if they feel the same and you are too scared to tell them for whatever reason. I didn't used to be that way, but as I said before, I am a lot more guarded than I used to be which can be good/ healthy and difficult at the same time;-) ). So, I was trying to get some perspective and perhaps a bit of a reality check. They told me something that I really and stupidly had NOT thought about: that liking someone is a beautiful thing, and that they envied me.  Wow!  What gifts friends are! :-D As depressed as I was feeling, as hopeless as I was feeling, this completely turned my feelings around!  I mean I still felt uncertain and afraid, and VERY insecure, but remembering what beauty these feelings bring into our lives is truly a blessing in disguise, regardless of the outcome.

For example: When you see a beautiful sunset or sunrise, and the first thing you think about is that person. You start to see them in all the beauty around you, in all the songs you hear, all the things you do . . . . this can be both wonderful and a wee bit frustrating too. ;-) But still, focusing on the positive (which can be hard) is the only way to properly channel these feelings so that they are most productive and not self-destructive. Afterall, God allows everything in our lives for a reason, and, as the lyrics near the end of the WONDERFUL musical "Les Miserables" say: "To love another person is to see the face of God."

So, it can be difficult to avoid songs that aren't romantic in some way.  Love is everywhere!  I was actually granted a little gift a few years ago at a retreat where a priest was comparing the love Christ has for us like the romantic love we have for someone else.  Christ courts us.  Wanting all of our love, devotion, and attention, to follow Him, to be with Him forever. I started to listen to certain love songs in a completely different way after that.  The greatest "romance" any of us can truly have is with God.  :-)  

Still though, some of those songs remind us how hard, wonderful, painful, incredible, and unbelievable romance is on earth as well! :-D Loving each other, in any capacity, is how we grow not only closer to each other, but closer to God as well. That is the real, true beauty of it all!!!

So, since it is everywhere, it is hard for us all not to feel some propensity towards love songs, no matter whether they are sad, happy, or even on occasion angry or if they are "geared" towards one gender or the other ;-) . We all experience the feelings that are expressed in these songs: longing, hope, insecurity, sadness, happiness, uncertainty, fear, pain, tears, separation, joy, beauty, etc. 

Have you ever had the experience of listening to an album and it just seems like song after song after song is the exact story of your life?!  You start to wonder if the artist is in the right line of work.  Maybe they should take up something like mindreading for a living instead. ;-P 

As I have said before, when talking about musicals, there are times in our lives when words alone are not enough to express what is truly in our hearts, and so we turn to music to help express it.  Like the beautiful chants in the Orthodox Church that express our love and devotion to God and His love for us.  Words are just never quite enough.  This is why we turn on the radio, iPod, or CD player.  And even for the same reason that we read: to know we are not alone.  Even the artist singing the song has shared these feelings and understands them. To remember that you are not the only one, and that we all share these experiences, helps us to not feel so alone or to feel even more joyful!

As Paul McCartney so aptly put it:

"You'd think that people would have had enought of silly love songs.

But I look around me and I see it isn't so.

Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.

And what's wrong with that? 

I'd like to know, cause here I go again....."

So, you get the idea. :-D There are COUNTLESS love songs out there, and each one a jewel unto itself.  

Now, I actually do classify love songs in several different categories:

#1.) The Ballad

These are the slower paced, emotional, coming from the depths of our soul kinda songs.

Some of my favorites include but are NOT limited to:

"This Never Happend Before" by Paul McCartney

"It Might Be You" by Stephen Bishop

"When You Say Nothing at All" by Alison Kraus

"Realize" by Colbie Caillet

"Come What May" from Moulin Rouge soundtrack

"Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole

"If You're Not the One" by Daniel Bedingfield

They are not known for their upbeat happy sound, but for the tightly gripped melodies and the far reaching emotions of discovering love whether it is the first time or the last. Or both! :-)

#2.) Happy Love Songs ;-)

These are the upbeat songs that explore the pure joy and exhileration that love brings into our lives.

My favs are:

"For the First Time" by Lifehouse

"I Think I'm In Love With You" by Jessica Simpson

"Enchanted" by Taylor Swift

"I Love You" by Avril Lavigne

"Contagious" by Avril Lavigne

"Everything" by Michael Buble

"A Wink and a Smile" by Harry Connick Jr.

"Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble

"The Edge of Glory" by Lady GaGa

"What Makes You Different" by the Backstreet Boys

"Miracles Happen" by Myra

"You Set Me Free" by Michelle Branch

"If Only" by Hanson

#3.) The Music of Pain and Hope 

These are the songs you listen to when you are sad, uncertain, insecure, missing someone, or just looking for a little hope, etc.  You could put many of these in the same category as the Ballad. They often share the same deeply rooted emotional core, only pointing in a different direction.

Favorites:

"Everybody Hurts" by Avril Lavigne

"No Air" Glee version ;-)

"When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne

"Wish You Were Here" by Avril Lavigne

"Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne (this is such a cute song!! ;-)

"Hold On" by B*Witched

"Gotta be Somebody" by Nickelback

"I'd Love You to Want Me" by Declan

"The One That Got Away" by Natasha Bedingfield

"No More Lonely Nights" by Paul McCartney

"Out of Reach" by Gabrielle

"The Waiting" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

"Goodnight My Someone" from "The Music Man"

"Somewhere Out There" by James Ingram and Linda Ronstadt

"My Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne

"Fall to Pieces" by Avril Lavigne (Yes, I have been listening to her alot lately, especially her new album, "Goodbye Lullaby")

"Tearin' up my heart" by *Nsync

"I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys

#4.) Love Songs that Transcend

So, these are actually my favorites out of all of them really.  These are songs that most people might not even neccessarily classify as "love" songs.  These songs tend to celebrate friendship more than anything, and when it comes down to it, the best and strongest form of romantic love is built on the foundation of friendship.  These are songs about being there for each other come hell or high water.

My all time favs are:

"I'll Stand By You" Glee cast version

"Lean on Me" also the Glee cast version :-)

"True Colors" again the Glee cast version ;-)

"The Call" by Regina Skektor

"No Matter What" by Boyzone

"Strong Enough to Bend" by Tanya Tucker

"With You ALL the Way" by Shane Sutton and the soundtrack to the 1990 cartoon film "The Jetsons"  I had just thought of this movie (I was 8) and I remember watching this film, especially this song over the credits, the night before we moved from Alburqurque when I was 10 and missing all of the friends I was leaving behind.

"MMMbop" by Hanson (Yes, I put this terrific upbeat song in this category! ;-)

And the ABSOLUTE #1 best song that goes in this category is: 

"Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne

So, in conclusion, as I was writing this today, I found out that two of my friends are now engaged! Congratulations again Sarah Schlichting and John Hesse! And as I was looking up something about the Orthodox Marriage Ceremony I saw that what Wikipedia had to say was really lovely and of course in complete aggreement with what I said earlier. Here is a quote from the begining:

"The Sacrament or, more properly, Sacred Mystery of Marriage does not unite a man and a woman. Rather, it is the Church's recognition of a union that God has already begun to work in their lives. As long as the union remains within the reality of this world, it will be subject to sin, pain, and death. But, through the Sacred Mystery, the union enters at the same time into a new reality: that of God's Kingdom. In Christ, marriage is restored to its initial perfection and in the sacrament, this union is made open to the possibility of what God intended marriage to be from the beginning: an eternal life of joy in union with Him.

"Thus, marriage goes beyond a legal contract. There is no exchange of vows - the two have freely and coequally committed to one another and consented to God's presence in their union. There is no phrase "'til death do us part". If marriage is brought into the Kingdom of God, death, as a separation, is powerless over it. Christ has destroyed death by His Cross and Resurrection; therefore, the union of man and woman in Christ is eternal."

Love is a beautiful thing, even when it brings us heartache and pain. 

One last thought: I just finished watching "Sense and Sensibility" (the Emma Thompson version) and near the end Elinor says to Marianne: "Afterall that is bewitching in the idea of one's happiness entirely depending on one person . . . it is not always possible, we must accept." 

Of course it is possible.  Perhaps not with another person here on earth, but certainly with our Lord, Jesus Christ.

This painting is called "Preparations for the Wedding" Isn't it beautiful?

How far have we come in 10 years?

I put up the flags on my facebook. I wore a red, white, and blue heart shaped pin to church.  We prayed for all those who perished in the terrorist attacks.  That is as far as I go.  No news, no coverage, no footage.  People are saying that as a country we are stronger now and more unified because of 9/11.  I wanna know where they are buying their rose colored glasses.  From where I stand, we are NOT stronger and we are NOT unified, and we have not come more than an inch or so.  After 10 years we still fighting this war.  Everytime I put my liquids in my plastic bag for my carry on, and take off my shoes at the airport, I am reminded of 9/11, and the fear those events continue to inspire.  

I will share with you the one image from that day that haunts me still, and undoubtedly will continue to do so till the day I die.  Video footage of people in Palestine celebrating.  I knew from history, books, televsion and movies that people have that kind of hatred for other people, but I never KNEW that people could HATE other people SO MUCH.  I found that terrifying.  I had no idea there were people that hate America THAT MUCH.  10 years later, after the news breaks that we finally "got" Osama Bin Laden what do we see on the news?  Celebrations.  People: death, murder, terror, destruction, are all things NEVER to be celebrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Honestly? I was deeply ashamed when I heard that some Americans were celebrating his death, etc.  Are we any better than the people who highjacked those planes?  and the people back "home" who supported them?  

Besides Pearl Harbor, this is the only time an "attack" has ever been made on American soil.  You know, despite how truly, deeply tragic and horrific this event was, we have NO IDEA of what war and suffering is when it is on our home soil.  Unlike so many other countries that still live with that kind of violence, hatred, and real, true fear.  For a country whose history is literally written with the blood of it's own people, we have NO REAL CONCEPTION of the true sacrifices our forefathers truly made on our behalf.  

Now, I am as much of or even more of a patriot than the next person, but I love the United States of Amercia and what we stand for.  What I DON'T love is what we ARE.  I love what our forefathers died for: "One Nation, Under GOD, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."  "We hold these truths to be self evident: that ALL men are created EQUAL. That they are endowed by their CREATOR with certain inalienable rights. That among these rights are LIFE, LIBERTY, and the pursuit of HAPPINESS."  Now, some may say, why bother we ain't never gonna make it. We ain't never gonna be able to live up to those fine words.  REGARDLESS, what our forefathers died to give us, is damn well worth honoring and fighting for, and it is something I would be prepared to lay down my life for.  With all our terrible imperfections, I have to believe in the country that Washington, Jefferson, and Adams dreamed of.  If I couldn't I could not longer love my counrty or call myself a patriot.

So in conclsion I find myself asking only one question today: the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks: How far have we come?  

The answer: not far enough. :-(

Not my original thoughts, but I wholeheartedly agree.

"You'll know that you miss someone very much when every time you think of that person, your heart beats faster. And just a quick warm "Hello" from that person calms you down... 
Bottom-line: you might have fallen for that person, just that you have not realized it, or refuse to admit it.

Don't be too good, I will miss you. Don't be too caring, I might like you. Don't be too sweet, I might fall for you. It's hard for me to love you when you won't love me after all...
Bottom-line: A person who makes me love them is actually a person how loves me more than I love them.

If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you, but for some reason they couldn't stay, don't cry too much...just be glad that your paths crossed and somehow they made you happy, even for a while. 
Bottom-line: Time will tell, if they're yours, they will come back.

Don't turn your back on love when it's already in front of you, don't drive it away from you because if you did, someday you'll think again why you let love fly away when it was once next to you. 
Bottom-line: Treasure the one who loves you, it's not easy to find a person who loves you. It's always more valuable to have a sincere heart.

The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not take. If you think something will make you happy, go for it! Remember that we pass this way only once. 
Bottom-line: Time doesn't wait. If you think you might have found the right one, treasure them. Don't let them go away. Don't let fear hold you back! Give it a try, else you might regret later...no one other than yourself knows what can truly make you happy.

Two teardrops were floating down the river. One teardrop said the the other, "I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you?"..."I'm the teardrop of the man who regrets letting a girl go..." 
Bottom-line: Nobody will sympathize with a person who constantly lets chances pass by without making any efforts to salvage. We normally don't realize how important our loved and close ones are, until they leave us. We'll start reminiscing, which results only in misery.

There are so many stars in the sky, but only some are radiant enough to catch our attention. Among those that you choose to ignore is that one star which is willing to continue shining for you, even if your glance remains elsewhere.
Bottom-line: Phrase one: The person with whom you are presently with for the time being, may not be the one you truly love. Phrase two: Should a person who knows that he/she can't be with you for the time being and yet still continues to love you wholeheartedly for what you are is touching. Think about it.

It's funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love, while at the back of our minds we know that the person we truly love will always be an exception. Bottomline: We are critical, especially to the one we love, because we want them to be the best, constantly seeking for perfection, which should be worked out by both parties in a relationship and not one party alone to shoulder the burden.

Love can make you happy although often times it hurts. But our love is only special if you give it to whom it's worth. 
Bottom-line: If you found someone who truly appreciates you, he/she deserves more of your love.

To love is like playing the piano. First, you play by the rules. Then you must forget the rules and play from the heart. 
Bottom-line: Trust is important. To trust a person you love, you must first let the person you love trust you. Have confidence in yourself and the person who loves you. Never leave them doubts and don't doubt what they have to give.

What if someone tells you this: I don't believe in courtship. It's just a waste of time. If I love the person, I'll tell her right away. But for you, I will make an exception...just love me now, and I'll court you forever... 
Bottom-line: Love needs time to realize, there might be love at first sight, but it takes time to let one gradually discover their affection towards another. Miss them when they are not around, hope to hear from them when they haven't written or called."

My Favorite Shakespeare Sonnet #30

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since cancelled woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanished sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
   But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
   All losses are restor'd and sorrows end.

Here are some tidbits...

...left over from my xanga and official Phantom days, among other things.


Enjoy.

The first is the beginning of a "Phantom" roleplay that, sadly died, like all the other ones that I have been involved with. The beginning was written by me, as I had the part of the Phantom himself:

“Behind the Mirror”- Xanga Role Play 


Erik:
"I lie in the dark....waiting.... for I know not what. The restoration of my soul? No, that is something that I have long since given up. I fight with my own personal demons....the ones who have taunted and plagued me all my life. The ones that take shape in human forms come back to me in the night. The anguish of these memories is almost more than I can bear! I try to forget! I struggle with the immense pain of knowing how much suffering and death I have caused. 


I feel so angry that mankind is so blind! Why can people never see the beauty that is just below the surface, just out of reach. If only people had the courage to take that extra step and grasp what beauty is out there! Oh why are people such cowards? Clinging to the same old routine! They cannot comprehend what they are capable of! I could teach the world to know beauty as they have never seen it....or heard rather, as music is my true passion. Music is what has kept me alive these long years. Music speaks to one on a deeper level then anything else. It conveys without words, the deepest and most desperate desires of our hearts.


As I sit here alone in the dark of my chamber with but one candle burning, suddenly a shaft of illumination blinds me! I cannot make out the words...but the melody....and the voice! It sears through all of the barriers which have long protected my heart from feeling any emotion. Feelings that have long laid dead within me are awakened with a terrifying surge of hope renewed. Hope that there is someone in this world who sees true beauty and is not afraid to reach for it. Someone who might be able to renew my fallen faith in humanity. There is a beauty in this voice that I have never heard before, but there is a sadness also. One that speaks to me and tells me that they too understand the pain and anguish of life. I close my eyes and soar to the very gates of heaven. Gates which I know are forever barred to me. I neither notice nor care for the tears streaming down my face, underneath the mask that hides the true nature of my existence. 


Then, just as suddenly as the voice began, it ends. I feel as though I had just become addicted to a drug that was as beautiful and calming as it is brutal and disorienting. I can think of nothing but hearing that voice again! Not fully realizing where I am going, I slip in and out of the many passages below the Paris Opera House, till suddenly I find myself on the other side of a mirror.....and on the other side is a vision from heaven. The most lovely girl I have ever seen sits there brushing her hair, quietly humming to herself. She stops and looks at her reflection and smiles! Oh what I would give to see her smile for all eternity! But there is a sadness there too. A sadness that I recognize as that which one feels when one has suffered a great loss. Just as she begins to turn away, I quietly reach out and touch the glass. It is as close as I dare get. 


But look! She has turned back to the mirror and as if she knows that someone is with her, she too reaches out for the glass and for a moment our hands meet. I want to speak to her! To tell her she is not alone! But I see a mixture of pleasure and pain in her face as she pulls her hand suddenly away and turns to open the door. As she opens it, I hear someone on the other side say what my heart will never forget......her name.....Christine!

This next quote is from an email that my Dad sent to me, after I had written an entry on my personal xanga: Desert_Dreamer, comparing "Les Miserables" and "The Phantom of the Opera". He made some really good points: 


“Another thought about "Les Mis" and "Phantom"--there are two kinds of love portrayed here--quite different kinds of love and, frankly, one is more noble than the other. In "Phantom" we have the kind of love that society understands as "obsessional"--a real passion, and not in the healthiest or best sense, either, even though it's deeply attractive to our fallen human nature. But this is transformed into self-sacrificing love at the end, which is the only thing that really "saves" it. Nonetheless we are left with a sense of melancholy because this love was tainted by being at first obsessional. But in "Les Mis" we have self-sacrificing love almost from the beginning, in many variations, including the sacrifice of self for the ideals of one's country. These various expressions of love are not obsessional, and are therefore untainted and completely noble, from beginning to end, leaving us not with a sense of melancholy, but with a sense of great dignity and worth.” 

I recently purchased a ticket for the 25th Anniversary Production of "Les Miserables" coming to Denver in September!!


This next one comes from a much older source: Queen Elizabeth I 


"I grieve and dare not show my discontent,
I love and yet am forced to seem to hate,
I do, yet dare not say I ever meant,
I seem stark mute but inwardly do prate.
I am and not, I freeze and yet am burned,
Since from myself another self I turned.
My care is like my shadow in the sun,
Follows me flying, flies when I pursue it,
Stands and lies by me, doth what I have done.
His too familiar care doth make me rue it.
No means I find to rid him from my breast,
Till by the end of things it be supprest.
Some gentler passion slide into my mind,
For I am soft and made of melting snow;
Or be more cruel, love, and so be kind.
Let me or float or sink, be high or low.
Or let me live with some more sweet content,
Or die and so forget what love ere meant."

She wrote that to the brother to the King of France, the Duke of Anjou and Alencon, whom she had thought to marry....but alas! Twas not to be.

I have always enjoyed this take on the film adaption of Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom":


"The Phantom is obsessively in love with Christine. When he discovers that she has fallen for the opera's handsome and rich patron, Raoul, who was once her childhood sweetheart, the Phantom is overcome by a terrifying violent jealousy. And I'm not surprised either, because Raoul looks like a girl, whereas the Phantom is a moody hunk with fabulous dress sense. Christine might have musical talent, but she has infuriatingly crap taste in men."

Then, when I had an interview.....at a Dental office, I was impressed by a poster that the doctor had up in his office, it said the following: 


"THE HIGHEST COURAGE IS TO DARE TO BE YOURSELF IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY. CHOOSING RIGHT OVER WRONG, ETHICS OVER CONVENIENCE, AND TRUTH OVER POPULARITY...THESE ARE THE CHOICES THAT MEASURE YOUR LIFE. TRAVEL THE PATH OF INTEGRITY WITHOUT LOOKING BACK. FOR THERE IS NEVER A WRONG TIME TO DO THE RIGHT THING. "

Then there is this little thing I wrote up several years ago: 


"The rose seemed to quiver at his gentle touch...slowly it opened to reveal a world far beyond the mind's imagination. A world full of beauty, honor, justice, and love. But...as soon as the world was visible...it disappeared into the soft pink petals....he wept. He wept for a world that would never be...could never be. A world of innocence that had not been lost. After drying his tears, he smiled down at the little flower and whispered.." I promise to do all that I can to insure that that world will never be forgotten!" 

"You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you." ~C. S. Lewis~ Good ol' Clive Staples Lewis. He really knew what he was talking about.

P.S. Here is something I posted on my Desert_Dreamer a while back: 


Thursday, January 13, 2005

There is a thread on the official Phantom website where a girl wrote about how she feels about the musical from a Christian viewpoint, and this is how I responded: ( I thought you might find it interesting)

"I definitely agree with you. From a Christian perspective, the story of the phantom is very interesting and insightful. As I said a few weeks ago in another thread, that is what I love so much about the story and especially the musical, and why I love "Music of the Night". Because for ONCE in out society, we have a love scene that ends with great love and tenderness, instead of what is so "typical" of our society today. That is the beauty of the film, and why I am SO happy that it is doing well. Here is a movie with no sex, no drugs, no bad language, minimal violence, and yet it is one of the greatest love stories of all time. Passionate and soulful, beautiful and horrifying, a movie that can touch you, down to the very core of your being. And in the end, it is because of Christine's kiss, her willingness to sacrifice her own life to save Raoul's and to show Erik that he is not alone. Her selfless act that shows Erik what true love really is, and in that moment, as much as he wants Christine to stay with him, he knows now that he cannot ask her to do it. As he hears the echoes of the mob hunting him, he knows that he cannot "condemn" the woman he loves to live a life like his. He is so shocked by this one act of love, that he, in turn, shows the true beauty of his own soul. So, instead of a happy ending, it ends with love, sacrifice and submission, those qualities that all of us Christians constantly strive for.

My mother died 8 years ago, and I have recently moved away from all of my friends, and my father, so I have had no one to go with me to see the film, so I have really been feeling lonely and sad recently. But I've noticed that as I leave the theatre each time, I don't feel weighed down by thoughts of lonliness and turmoil, but instead, in a strange way I feel uplifted and satisfied. Because really, deep down, we all feel lonely and unloved. Besides would you really like to see Christine stay with him? I think his letting her go, is part of the beauty of the story, and I think that deep down, he always knew that that was how it would end. We should all remember that we are not alone, that Christ is always with us, and that it is when we feel the farthest away from Him, that He is really the closest to us.

Phantom_Lover22"


That was my screen name on the Official "Phantom" website back in the day.